"'Ow do you feel? 'Ow do you feel? 'Ow do you feel, uh, Perry!? Is that what you want to 'ear from me??" Giles egged him on relentlessly. "I'm not your G-d damned psychiatrist!" He was forceful and harassing, he always was. Giles loved to get in the faces of his roommates. It intimidated them. It always worked on Perry.
"Stop it, Giles! P-P-Please, just knock it off! You know I just can't- I just can't-"
"--Poor baaaby! Is THAT 'ow you want to be treated? You want my bloody pity!?"
"NO, Giles! Just knock it off, you know it's not that! You know I just- just can't, I can't, you-you, oh HELL, Giles! Back off already!"
Perry swatted away the wily arms of his roommate, who by now was inches from his face. Perry couldn't stand the closeness or the badgering for that matter. Still, Giles pressed on in his mocking, smarmy tone. He could be a devil when he wanted to be. Perry was almost in tears. Only then did Giles really let up. Giles hated that more than anything
Oh come off it. What is it? What is it, Perry? I'm not a damned psychic, you know."
"You KNOW what it is, Giles! Don't tell me that your psychoanalytic powers haven't picked up on it yet."
"You're a bloody queen, I get it already. No reason to get your knickers knotted now, uh? Yeah, you'd 'ave to be daft not to know you're a botty boy, by now! Everybody on campus knows! What's that got to do with me, uh?!"
Perry just glared at Giles, saying nothing. It was his way of fighting back- silence. Nothing got Giles more ruffled than ignoring.
"So that's it, uh?..." There was an awkward silence shared between the two of them, tension thick enough to choke on. Perry looked away, and Giles just stared after. He got it, alright. Now the two stood there, trying to think of how to break the ice. It was obvious, it always had been, but Giles never wanted to face what he knew as fact. Perry was in love with him, so it was. It wasn't a concept Giles was familiar with, straight or otherwise. He had been struggling to figure out what "love" really meant for many months now. Perry, on the other hand, just stood there, feeling big, dumb, and embarrassed, like he often felt around his smaller counterpart. He was, after all, a harry lummox, a dopey muppet, a big nosed loser whose intelligence was his only grace, though he didn't flaunt it like his roommate did. He felt diminished, feeling stupid for having the feelings he did. "Fine then," Giles continued, still riled up as he swept his arm across Perry's desk, scattering papers and books all over the already cluttered floor, "pick it up, Perry." Perry did so without questioning. Frustrated himself, he didn't know what else to do. He bent over.
It was then that he felt his drawers ripped from his belt, pulled down around his ankles, and he was met with a sudden force from behind, dry humped like some kind of a mangy dog. Startled, Perry whirled around, swinging out his beefy forearm and knocked Giles right in the jaw. The spindly Brit reeled back, crashing into his own desk, and scrambling to catch his balance he shrieked.
"You bloody DOLT! You fuckin' 'IT me!" He was feeling for his glasses which had flown clear off his face, and Perry was standing there, blushing bright red with one hand pulling up his trousers, the other adjusting his own glasses.
"The HELL, Giles!? What's your bloody problem!?" Perry's baritone, stern voice caught Giles off guard, and he looked up, startled half to death, and truly frightened for once. He had never heard Perry get to so serious with him before. "Is that what you fucking think of me!? Is that what you honestly think I want, you son of a bitch!?"
Giles was frozen in shock, having never heard Perry's vernacular drop to such a base level, devoid of superfluous adjectives, or flowery language. He was no longer the kind, gentle giant, and instead was truly an intimidating force, approaching Giles, looming over him, his barrel chest heaving with every pant and breath. "You honestly think that's what I want from you!? A quick, sloppy fuck, like I'm some sort of whore of yours!? Just one of your drunken one-night stands?? You think that's all I wanted to be to you!? Some sort of dosser!?"
"I don't know what you want, Perry!"
"I don't want ANYTHING from you! Fuck it, Giles, you know that!? Fuck th-this whole G-d damned thing!" He slammed his fist down right next to Giles head and he flinched, though Giles could tell now by the way Perry's verbal demeanor began to falter, that he was losing his edge and that it wouldn't be long before he started to break down into tears. Indeed he did. Perry turned around to try to hide his tears from Giles.
Come on now, Perry, don't do that
Don't cry." For once, Giles was being genuine, but this time Perry didn't want his sympathy anymore. His request was met with a snappy reply.
"-Don't you DARE tell me what to do, Giles! You always think you're so damned smart, predicting what everyone will do or say, or pretending like you know everyone based on their damned fucking mannerisms! You think you're some kind of motherfucking detective, don't you!? If you even had half the brain cell of common MOLLUSK you'd know me better than that! But you can't know somebody unless you cared about them, and you don't care about anyone but Giles fucking Barker! You only know yourself, damn it! Well fine! At least SOMEONE understands you, 'cause I surely don't!
. Fuck you, Giles
." Giles couldn't stand hearing who he considered to be his intellectual match, turn into such a babbling, swearing idiot, and tried to approach him with much trepidation, but as soon as Perry felt him near, he shoved him back with such force that Giles fell flat on his bum. "I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!" Giles barely flinched this time, his eyes wide as saucers.
"I'm sorry already, Perry, let's just talk about this, uh?" Giles begged, but Perry didn't buy it this time.
It was only then, that the pain hit Giles. He tried to stand, but a sharp sting struck his hip and he stumbled. He was a fragile, meager young man, barely a gnat compared to Perry's bearish figure. He winced, but this time he didn't get pity from Perry. "I said, get the hell OUT!" Perry picked up Giles by the back of the shirt and threw him out of his room. Giles staggered to his feet just outside of the door that was immediately slammed in his face.
"Well fine!! Fuck you too, man!" Giles stood there, nose to the door, staring a hole right through it. If he could see to the other side, he'd find Perry not having broken down into a thousand tears like he had expected. It hurt him, though he wouldn't admit it. Perry actually got to his stone-cold heart at last, but not in the way either of them had wanted.
And that's how it was. The topic was never brought up again after that. After all, it wasn't long before Giles Barker left the college scene for good. They never made up, though they left it off as a mutual understanding that they could never really understand one another. Although they came from a world of different opinions, it was perhaps because of their similar wiring that neither one truly understood themselves, therefore could not entirely get into the mind of the other. Either way, it wasn't until many years later that they would ever have to confront the problem again