It ain't as easy as ya made it look, Johnny. You was always a leader from the day you was born. You was like my older brother, and I didn't know a life apart from you. Then you went and left me here, left me in charge, and where was I supposed to go from there? I ain't a leader. I ain't no follower, neither, but I ain't some kinda father figure. I don't know what they expect from me. I ain't the brains you was. I ain't patient, I ain't wholesome. I just ain't you, Jay. I guess that's what they expectin', but I can't deliver. Just ain't my style. Ernie keeps comin' to me, as if I were his best friend or somethin'. I don't know what he wants. He keeps askin' me shit, like I know, sayin' I'm the only one he can talk to now. It's like he thinks my opinion somehow matters or somethin'. It don't, really. I tell him whatever comes to mind, but I don't really know. He can ask all he wants, but in the end, I can't seem to answer none'a his questions like he wants me to. I don't even know why Rupert hangs around. Guess he's scared'a me or somethin'. I think I overheard it once, when they was in the garage, and didn't notice me leavin' my office. I ain't gonna say I was hurt, but it made me realize somethin' I ain't thought of before. I was only boss because I was the one who owned the company, and in the end, they was just my employees. I realized I had a hand full'a minions and not a friend in the world. I lost that when you died, and I didn't even realize I really had one until then either. You really was more an older brother than my actual brother ever was. Lookin' back on it, ya did stuff f'me even when you weren't aware of it. Just bein' there, workin' in your garage, workin' hard, and doin' what you loved
I admired that. I think that was what gave me somethin' to live for. I wanted that kinda dedication to somethin' too. You instilled it in me, taught me how to achieve it, but you ain't gonna be there if I ever do. Ya left me, just like my other brother. Just like family always do. I was stupid f'thinkin' anything on this G-d forsaken planet sticks around. I kinda feel bad, cuz Ernie don't know about that kinda stuff yet. Somehow he still seems to think I'll be around f'ever. Even if I did stick around, I ain't no use to him, really. I don't even know why I'm botherin' talkin' to ya anyway
Not like you can hear me.